ON HIATUS.

i guess i'm going to take a long long long break on blogging.

i wanted to improve my blog by having a proper camera at least,
then i'll be back blogging.

so until then.

is this a goodbye? i don't know.
but one day for sure, when a camera is in my hands, you'll see me blogging.


*PS: i'll still be commenting and bloghopping everyday!
**PPS: head here if you'd like! might blog there more but no outfit posts!

First Fashion Competition -- Blooming in Batik

Blooming in Batik

That's the concept i came up for my gown.



I entered a fashion design/fashion competition at my school for it's charity events.

We had to design our own gown, and then have it sewn, the materials were Indonesian Batik that were sold at school. The theme? No theme. We were to let loose our imagination and be creative.

Of course, being me, I never even once planned that my dress is going to be simple.
Over-the-top, grand, and just... big. is what i had in mind.

I bought three packets of Batik, each 2m long maybe.

My teacher is the one sewing my dress. She had been my teacher since i first learning Fashion Illustration, and boy do i make her work her ass off for the dress. :)
We discussed how the design should be, because it turned out that the fabric is not enough for my original design.

I was happy, very happy with the end result. I was undeniably proud.
Tami, my model looks gorgeous and walked better than i expected.

My teacher and I trained her walk for days!
She is a tall girl, so she had never wore heels anywhere before, and it's a big struggle to get her to walk in heels.

She did amazingly well in the fashion show. My dress closed the show, and i remembered being so proud, watching her strut down the runway in my dress.

(the last two was photographed by Andri, a friend's bf)

I did half the hair myself, because SURPRISINGLY, the school didn't prepare anyone to do hair, as they promised.

The dress was a bustier with Victorian touch, with an attachable bustle. The details that i showed you in my previous post is a bit contemporary, though, i didn't want to bluntly put in traditional Victorian theme in the dress.



Weren't you going to ask me, did i win?

I did, third place.

Even now writing this down, i can still feel a big pain and disappointment.
Why? Deep in my heart, i can feel that i made a beautiful dress, and i deserve first place.



This photo is taken by my friend's boyfriend, you can see that it's different from the shots i took from its editing.
This is when they announce the winners. and there I was, with Tami, THIRD PLACE.

When my name were called up for third place,
I froze. I didn't stood up until Tami poked me in the arm.
Everyone was turning at me and i walked down the tribune, amidst all the whispering and frowns. I was expected by my fellow competitors to win first place.

I faked a smile and stood there on the stage with Tami--who was in the same shock as I was.
I whispered to her while still faking a dental ad smile.
"Third, T. I got third. might as well kill me now. i feel like crying."
"Do. not. cry. just smile. it's fine."

She told me it's fine, okay, and all the things i know is the counter of what was in her heart.
We worked together to present our best,
and too bad our best wasn't appreciated. I knew she felt disappointed.

I am a sore loser, YES I ADMIT. I did not deserve losing, that's how i feel, even now.
Do not get me wrong, my friends' designs were beautiful and unique, but honestly?
If i were to lose to a dress i find better than mine, i would've just shut the hell up.

These are the hardworkers behind the dress, from left to right,
my teacher, Chessa at-Thariq, my model Tami, my mom, and me.
(god do i look BIG)



This is my blog, you can call me childish, sore loser, whiny, or whatever, i don't care.
If you don't like, i'm warning you, it's so easy to just close this window.

Those photos that my friend's bf took was from my friend's facebook page.
What irked me so bad is that the photos of Tami wearing my dress at the competition wasn't tagged to me.

hmmm. interesting. it might be just a simple thing, but this made me feel a bit disrespected.

But that's not all.

I'm sure you all has facebook accounts, so you know that anyone can comment on their friend's photo album.

A few days after the show, when reading the comments on the photo album, i stumbled over some sayings that I should've won first place,
and that there was a mistake,
but because the first place contestant already came forward, the mistake was not corrected because THEY ARE AFRAID THE GIRL CALLED FIRST WILL BE EMBARASSED.

hmm. interesting. how do you explain that to me?
i felt so annoyed reading that. it might be just gossip, but i still felt annoyed.
i replied a comment, but no one responded.

What made me feel more disrespected was some comments like this.
i'm quoting it the way it was written on facebook. in indonesian.


"heheehe..
ngeselin sh..
makanya gw kaget kalo tami cuma juara 3..
trusss
ada revisi nya gt gak??...
hehehe..
kasian tami..
tp kasian juga si tiwii.."

here's a rough translation.

"heheehe..
it's annoying rite..
that's why i was shocked that Tami only got third place..
thennn
were there revisions??
hehehe
poor tami
but poor tiwii also.."

cough. yes. poor tami.
uhuh yes poor model.

what i'm trying to say here, i feel SO DISRESPECTED.
poor tami, YES, oh it's the model that worked her ass off, yes yes.

for you who felt i quoted you, good. i did it on purpose.
i will respect your privacy when you respect me.
there is one comment, but this pissed me off the worst.

Even my friend, Muni, who was a great supporter, felt annoyed at those comments.
He posted a comment in my defense, but everyone stopped commenting.

I felt better now that it already past, but i honestly still feels a bit.. well, annoyed.

I got over the fact that i didn't officially won, but i know that my dress is liked, and that makes me happy.
Only the fact that i was a bit disrespected by such commenters that hurt me.

Despite all that, i love fashion shows, i always do,
and the thrill i have looking over my dress from the backstage,
fashion is amazing :)

pre-comeback

I'm back!
well, almost.

so far i hadn't taken outfit photos and all that.
and there are also a LOT going on,
and i mean, A LOT.

One thing i'm eager to tell you is my FIRST EVER FASHION SHOW.
as A DESIGNER :) dream come true.
well, it's a competition actually..

eventhough i didn't sew the freaking heavy dress myself...

Here's a sneak peak at my dress' detail

and my CRAZYYYY model.
remember her?
i said he'll open my first fashion show and it came true!

Bye for now, i'm drowned in heaps of chores!


PS: i accidentaly DELETED MY BLOGROLL
now i don't know how to get them back and i don't really remember ALL the URLS! T.T
please do help me if you felt that your name is missing!


**EDIT:
I'VE BEEN FEATURED-- or as FASHION JINX's way of saying, JINXED!
see the feature HERE

as you've probably guessed..

i'll be away on a hiatus for a while.

a lot had been going on, i need to put my life back into a pace i'll be able to get a grip of.
i'm recently quite overwhelmed of the changes going on.

so, until then, blogging world.

i will be back!

feeling purple

What happened these few days was that i could not sign in into my blog!
Oh yes, my OWN blog.
Since i have only minimum knowledge about computers and how they work,
i can't explain what was wrong or even fix it my own.
even my browser sometimes fail upon me.
help!

On another note,
the camera i had taken hostage from my friend had been returned..
(insert sad face, desperate howl, and stomping feet emoticon here)

Nevertheless, those days with the camera was fun.
Took a few shots of the surroundings, such as flowers, my dogs, the sky, my dogs,
my surprised mum, and.. uh. my dogs.

there's Mika for ya'!

this is what i wore a few weeks ago.
blame my browser for getting in the way of me posting it!

mom's custom made blazer, random tank top, jeans cut off, knee highs, wondershoe flats

oh and my cousin just did something to the laptop. dunno what, but now my browser seem a bit kinder to me! hope it will forever! ^^

bickering mate and gossiping pal, i'll see you guys again!

sorry for the sporadic posts!
it's holidays and i seem to have myself busy all the time..

better outfit posts! since i have my friend's camera as a hostage.
*devil laughter*
you owe me money, love!

don't worry, the camera is in good hands.
i'll post some of my photos next time!
Even so, since some of the pictures are taken by my own mother,
i felt a bit uncomfortable since she kept telling me to pose this way or that way.
sigh. mothers.

oh, and my eyes looks damn horrorrrrrrr.

thrifted blazer
top from China
random denim and bag

Two of my lovely classmates went abroad to college!
i'm sad to not be able to see them for at least six months,
but i mostly envy them for having the chance to get abroad and pursue their education.

well, good luck guys!

Akio Hirata hat
white butterfly top from Bali
thrifted shift dress
wondershoe shoes

i've been addicted into photo shop lately.
for so long, i haven't edited my photos and posted them as they are.
(well, except for the brightness, saturation and all)

Nevertheless, it already is a common known fact that in magazines, photos are 99,8% edited.
well, those might not be the exact percentage,
but i believe none of those pictures in the magazines are published "raw"

In this blog, i assure you that i am NOT trying to lie and hid the fact that i'm fat,
ugly, or hideous. (WHICH I AM NOT! HHA!)
Whenever i decided that my photos are blinding to the human eyes,
i either will not post it, or edited them. but of course, i will note them.

an example.

this is what sleep deprivation,
cakes and doughnuts, made me look like.

honestly, i'm risking myself to be slammed by critiques.
Undeniably sleepy-eyed and i looked a bit high.
wtf.

i'm not utterly disgusted about how i look, i can simply delete the photo if i don't like it, right?
But since i need to practice my photoshop skills, why not give myself a bit of virtual botox here and there, rhinoplasty and what not.

can you see the difference?
hee. hee. hee.

You can't really trust photos these days! but i assure you, i will tell you if my photos are edited!

sunshine heaven!

AH! finally back here after what felt like eternity.

a lot had been going on, and the word 'a lot' itself didn't even do any of the occurrence these past days any fairness.

at 15th of june, my class and I had been planning to go the beach in Carita, west Java.
we've booked the bus, the room, bought food and everything!

what we didn't expect was, at 8 o'clock, as we were riding on the bus to Carita, still in the freeway,
suddenly some of my classmates started getting text messages.

the graduation announcement was to be held right that day, at 14:30.
oh gee.

we decided to keep going. it was the freeway after all, what were we supposed to do but keep going?
with no fear, we decided that the whole class, all seventeen of us, weren't gonna come to the announcement.

we decided that the school must know, however.
so i called the school's administrative and told them.

things went pretty well afterwards anyway.

At the second floor, three bedrooms, a kitchen, two bathroom and floors constantly smothered with sands, we experience a laid back life for three days.

i'll tell you this, there's nothing in the world that feels WORST than waking up next to someone you love dearly,
stomping you around to wake you up!



but still, you smiled anyway.


Nothing more fun than trying to cramp everyone in one room to watch a horror movie together at night.



nothing feels better than the taste of togetherness,

in one room.


it's all one temporary tattoo we all had together couldn't be enough for.


(the name of my class)

the sand on my feet and the sun soaking me up feels better with your laughter, chit chat, and splash of sea water.





when shall we play again, my dear family?








holding hands, facing the blue waves with the sun scorching our back,




when will we chat all night in the balcony,
fighting the cold night wind to discuss life together?




when can we rewind the sounds of beach waves, acting as our lullaby,
bidding us to bed every night?

those three days in the beach felt amazing, why?

because i have you guys.


we will never part, i promise you.

we're just a family, getting through life,

going where ever we need to face our dreams.

The dreams we encouraged each others to chase, remember?

Now it's time to part for a while,

even though two years felt like a flick,

we can not turn back time.

These memories will never fade.

We are still together, in our hearts.

that, i believe.



i love you.